


All My Borrowed Darlings

by Letterblade



Series: Too Much Love, Too Much Life [3]
Category: DRAMAtical Murder - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bondage, Crossdressing, Dirty Talk, Dissociation, Dom/sub Undertones, Genderfuck, Implied Aoba/Everyone, Implied Past Virus/Trip/Sei, M/M, Other, Outdoor Sex, Past Abuse, Polyamory, VR Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-08
Updated: 2015-05-08
Packaged: 2018-03-28 20:56:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3869524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Letterblade/pseuds/Letterblade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Sei sets out to seduce all of his brother's boyfriends, he discovers quite a bit about himself along the way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All My Borrowed Darlings

**Author's Note:**

> Written for DMMD Rarepair Week on Tumblr. Takes place in the denouement period of a harem/polyblob-and-Sei-lives-and-Ren-gets-his-own-body alternate continuity that Mllelaurel and I have put way too much thought into; this is pretty much Sei's side of [Not In Control of His Life](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3301328), and I admit it may not make much sense without that context. More continuity information in the series notes.

* * *

**I. you could make grown men gasp when you go walking past**  

* * *

 

When Sei decides it's about time to seduce all of Brother's boyfriends, which he's been idly contemplating for a while now, he starts with Koujaku. He'd be the simplest, really. And so _fun_. Sei's been letting him do his hair and nails for months now, letting him pamper him, and it's really very nice for them both, Brother doesn't swallow nearly as much pampering as Koujaku has to give, and Sei just wallows in it. They'd even conspired to swap out Brother's crappy two-in-one shampoo for some nice product, and his hair's been so much happier since. And Koujaku gives the _best_ piggyback rides. And Beni's _very_ cute.

And Sei has a very good idea what Koujaku's weak spots might be.

It takes him a little while to get ready. And it's a giddy little while. He slips out for shopping in bits and pieces, slow and painstaking, one errand at a time so he doesn't overtax himself; he could have things delivered, he supposes, but he wants to _see_ them. Pick them out carefully. Bright red lipstick, a little too cherry to really look like blood. A soft black pencil for his eyes. Stockings and garters. Pretty things for his hair. It's a week and three trips until he finds the perfect dress, silky white with a red sash, a skirt full enough to swish around his thighs and short enough to tease, sleeveless, but with a high enough neck so it looks nice without breasts. And so _soft_. He could just roll around in it for ages. Does.

Heels are a bother, but it's not like he'll be going anywhere, so he just leaves them out.

And so the next time Koujaku comes over to hang out, Sei, freshly bathed and lotioned, slips into the dress and lounges on the couch, stockings and hairbows and makeup across his lap. He can feel his heart pounding a little as Koujaku's footsteps come up the stairs, some strange feeling he can't quite put his finger on flip-flopping in his stomach--feelings, they're all weird. So long since he left Oval Tower, since the last time anybody touched him. Only a few more steps and he'll lose the chance to turn back, to send Koujaku a quick message saying he was out somewhere--no, no, this will be good, won't it--?

The door opens.

Sei looks up and puts on his best smile.

"Koujaku~ Want to help me get ready?"

...he really didn't expect him to _bleed_.

♥

After one of them manages to stop flailing enough to stick a tissue up Koujaku's nose, he sort of shorts out with one hand on Sei's knee, close to the hem of his skirt, to fuss, and ask about six times in a row if Aoba was _really_ okay with this.

"I got permission before I left. I _promise_." Sei reaches out to run his fingertips over the smooth pale jewel on Koujaku's collar, the warm leather, the silky knot and tassels, oh, everything he wears feels so nice. It bobs as Koujaku swallows. "You could call Brother and ask, if you want to...?"

Koujaku frowns, swallows again as Sei plays with his tassels. "I--shouldn't bother him. I just..."

Sei makes a vague noise, prompting--that's what you're supposed to do, yes?

"I thought--" Koujaku takes a breath, closes his eyes for a moment, and smiles, and it's bright and sad and confused and feels a little familiar. "I thought it would be just Aoba. When it comes to--wanting men, I mean. Or at all, now that we're together, it's not like I'm playing around anymore. But..."

"But...?"

Koujaku picks the tissue out of his nose, rueful. "I'd be lying if I said I _didn't_. Want you. I've learned better than that by now."

"Do you always nosebleed when you want people?" Sei asks, a little lost.

" _O-oi_ ," Koujaku grumbles, reddenning even more. "Don't you start!"

"Start what?" He bats his eyelashes.

"Honestly. One little nosebleed and Aoba never lets up about it..."

Sei laughs softly, and then hesitates, leans down, and rests his forehead against Koujaku's.

"...haah." Koujaku pets his hair, unsure. "I...had no idea. That you'd--want me. Hell, a year ago I couldn't never have imagined any of this."

"Me neither," Sei breathes, because a year ago, all he wanted was death, and they both know it, and Koujaku clutches his shoulder a little. "But you're very handsome."

"Ahaha..." Koujaku looks a little sheepish.

"What, aren't you used to hearing that from pretty girls?"

Koujaku flushes scarlet with an angry croak. "Not for a while now! Besides, you're--you're--"

He makes some frantic handflap, and Sei leans back and holds a bow up to his hair and bats his eyelashes.

" _Unfair_ ," Koujaku finishes, somehow.

"Is it bad?" Sei asks, puzzled.

"Yes! No! My dick is confused?!" Koujaku groans and flops backwards on the floor, squawks as he lands on his sheathed sword, and flounders halfway up to sit at Sei's feet. "You're my boyfriend's _twin_ and you're dressed like a girl and augh." He huffs. Sei pats his head. He huffs again.

"I could--stop?" Sei offers, uncertain. He doesn't want to.

"--no." Koujaku lets out a breath, shakes his head just a little. "No. Please don't be--you're not doing anything wrong. This is just--all our sex lives have gotten very weird?"

"Isn't it always weird?"

"Didn't used to be."

Sei just looks at him. Koujaku scratches the back of his neck.

"Okay, maybe it did. In different ways. Look, I..." He swallows. "Sei. You're an important friend. I...don't want to take advantage of you."

Sei tilts his head to one side, a little bewildered. "I started it. Doesn't that mean you're not?"

"...haah." Koujaku bows his head a little, conceding the point. "Okay. Uh. Why are you dressed like that?"

"...because I thought it would really turn you on?" It's sort of an obvious question, Sei really isn't sure how else to answer.

"Am I that transparent," Koujaku grouses. It's not a question.

Sei pokes his chest. "No, you're pretty solid. I can't see anything through you."

Koujaku blinks for a moment, then sputters with laughter, frown easing into a smile. "Fine, fine. But--why me, of all people?" He waves a hand in some vague encompassing of--everything. Not as forward as Noiz or Clear. Mostly into girls and Aoba. Whatever else Sei knows about him, or he thinks Sei knows about him, or whatever. "I'm just..."

"Because you're very handsome. And I." Sei hesitates for a long moment, like he's only just realized something. Turning over distant memories, tainted by time and other people's pain and the slow realization that genuine fondness was _nothing_ like the way Virus' hands would skim over him in silk and leather and chains. A toy. Yet he still... "I'd like to be your princess, maybe?"

Koujaku's eyes widen for a moment, and his breath hitches in his throat, and then he finds Sei's hand, gentle as anything, and lifts it to kiss the back of it softly.

♥

Being Koujaku's princess is much, much nicer. His hands shake a little with the makeup, he has to steady them on Sei's face, but they're very warm, and Sei likes the texture of them. Soft, well-moisturized skin, yet a rough spot or two, calluses from his sword, old scars. It's interesting. Sei didn't bother picking up much makeup anyway, he thinks he looks better that way, so there's a dark accent to his eyes and vivid red blossoming on his lips, and then Koujaku drags a shaky breath, and Sei leaves lipstick stains on his cheek, and he laughs.

Koujaku's brilliant with his hair, of course, and combs it silky smooth. Some jar of product appears from the folds of his obi like he's a magician, to make his hair extra shiny, rich and dark, and then Koujaku picks out a flower and a dangle of white beads to place perfectly, balancing Sei's face in some way Sei barely even understands. But he knows it must look good because of how raggedly Koujaku's breathing.

Which is nothing next to putting on the stockings. Koujaku makes things a little worse for them both by rubbing Sei's feet down with some lotion he'd had tucked away somewhere--they're a little dry, he said, you wouldn't want them to catch on the stockings. Nobody's ever massaged Sei's feet before, and he finds himself moaning softly, head sagging back, one hand clutching the hem of his tenting skirt as Koujaku burns with painful arousal beneath him and kisses his ankles adoringly. So very, very nice. Blotting his feet dry with some soft bit of cloth. Silky nylon slipping around each foot, closing to the ankles, and Sei's lost in some haze of sensation when Koujaku's voice comes to him.

"May I help you up, Princess?" Koujaku's holding out a hand for him, knightly. As much of a knight as he could be with a garter belt clutched in his other hand and the flush of bewildered, overwhelming lust spreading to his ears. Sei finds himself smiling, brighter than usual, and takes Koujaku's hand, and wobbles to his feet. There's a wall nearby, fortunately; he's still giddy from the footrub and awash in sheer pleasure, so he leans on it and smiles down at Koujaku in a haze as Koujaku rolls the stockings up his legs. Rests his cheek against Sei's thigh, breathing hoarsely. Sei plays with his hair. Koujaku rolls one stocking up again. "Ah..."

"The garters?" Sei breathes.

Koujaku shakes out the belt and stares at it for a moment.

"I think it's supposed to clip in the back...?"

"Ah, of course..."

Sei smiles, turns, and hitches his skirt up to his waist.

"Fuck," Koujaku breathes. Because Sei hasn't bothered with underwear. Why would he? Koujaku makes a strangled noise as the warm breadth of his hand slides over Sei's ass. His hands are almost shaking as he fastens the garter belt around his waist, smoothes the stockings the rest of the way up Sei's thighs, clips them in place. Sei breathes deep and satisfied, spreads his legs a little, wiggles.

"...am I pretty?"

"You're _gorgeous_." Koujaku kisses the nape of his neck, breath hot and prickling his skin. "The loveliest princess I could imagine."

"Mm. Yay!"

Koujaku laughs; Sei can almost feel his big doofy grin pressed against his skin. "Yay. God. Sei. I--I want you...?"

"Yes," Sei breaths, and backs his ass against him almost without thinking, lithe, instinctive.

Koujaku fumbles somewhere between desperate hurry and gentleness, but it works fine. The first finger up his ass, slick with something from Koujaku's pocket, makes a cold, cold numbness spread down his legs. He breathes, backs into it and moans without thinking about it, feels the silk of Koujaku's kimono against his thigh, the warmth of his hands. It's Koujaku, he tells himself; it's Koujaku, it's all right. His body opens like a flower, nerveless, automatic. So easily that he wonders if Koujaku might have fussed more if he hadn't been so worked up. Two. Three. He isn't used to this much preparation, it's kind of nice.

"I'm ready," he murmurs, eventually; it feels like quite a long time, but maybe it's not long at all, because Koujaku nuzzles his neck and hesitates.

"You...really?"

"I'm ready," Sei murmurs again, because he is, he really is. He'd wondered if it would take much, after so long without doing it, but apparently not. He peers over his shoulder: Koujaku's vividly flushed, looking at him in wonder, tugging his pants open to get his cock out, too much of a hurry to undress. That's fine, Sei thinks. All his clothing feels so nice anyway. Sei's legs shake, and he sighs and leans hard against the wall, dress askew, barely able to lock his knees.

"Hey--you okay?"

He doesn't know how to respond--really, really doesn't. Not during this? How could it matter? He's meant to wobble through it until he slides to the floor like a used tissue--

Koujaku comes into full view, strong arm around Sei's waist, face lined with concern even with all his flusterment. "That was silly of me--I'm so sorry--come on, let's get you comfortable..."

Sei totters into his arms, blank-headed and breathless for a moment, and lets Koujaku roll him into bed. Of course, of course, this is _Koujaku_. Koujaku will spoil him. It's so new. It's so nice. Koujaku holds him close in his lap for a moment, faces inches apart, and Sei can see the tattoo peeking out from behind his disheveled bangs, the way his lips part on little pants of sheer arousal, but even beyond that, his warm red eyes are _alive_. Bright. Apologetic. Adoring. Heat trickles back down Sei's spine. Koujaku's cock is nudging Sei's thigh, hot hard velvet between the straps of his garters, and Sei forces in a breath and finds words. "Just--just like this? You can, right?"

Koujaku drags in a breath that's almost a moan, eyes dropping for a moment to take in Sei's body bundled in his lap, one hand brushing lovingly over the head of his cock. "Fuck," he breathes, and Sei manages a smile, and slowly figures out how to roll his hips against him. "Y-yeah, god, yes--just let me--"

He scoots backwards somehow, a nigh-frantic scramble, to brace his back against the wall at the head of the bed, and takes Sei with him. Sei holds on, absentmindedly flips the rest of his skirt out the way, silky stuff brushing Koujaku's thighs, laying himself open and bare, and Koujaku gives another one of those perfect strangled groans. Having an _effect_ on somebody like this, that's new--that's wonderfully new, it's going to his head. Seeing how much he can turn somebody on--helplessly, painfully aroused, not just idle interest--so new. Feels so different like this. Those wonderful hands are holding him up, spreading his ass open, and Sei relaxes instinctively, with long-practiced ease, but he isn't numb, not entirely.

"Hold on," Koujaku fumbles out. "Just let me..."

He slicks up his cock, somehow, between their bodies. His hands are almost shaking. Sei can hardly keep himself from going limp in his arms, instinctive surrender, resting his weight along Koujaku's chest, looping his arms around his neck; but Koujaku's strong, and bears him easily, and kisses him sweetly. Koujaku's cock nudges his ass, hot and slick, and Sei opens with ease, slides down around him with one long moan, lets gravity drag him deep.

From there, it's simpler. Sei falls into a mindless haze, almost too easily, but this--this is a nice one, he's pretty sure. Koujaku's kimono has fallen open, and his chest and shoulders are very warm, and he wraps his arms around him and holds him close. It's nice being astride him, too, once he figures out how to roll his hips; he keeps a slow, lazy pace that leaves Koujaku panting and making little whimpering noises in the back of his throat and straining up into him. Even when Koujaku rolls his palm around the head of his cock again, starts jerking him off with tender urgency--he doesn't have the strength to move faster, he just pants and makes mindless little noises and looks down between them, at his cock with his skirt puddled around it, Koujaku's scarred hand. Up to Koujaku's face. Yes--yes, this isn't bad. He can feel his toes, curling a little; he can feel Koujaku's heartbeat and Koujaku's thighs straining under him against the silky stuff of his stockings. Koujaku muttering sappy things against his throat, and his heart skips a little every time. Not bad at all. Better. Much better.

Sei comes almost without realizing it, as usual, but it's a little more intense than he's used to, shaking and crying out as he spills over Koujaku's hand; and Koujaku, nervous, splays a reluctant shaking hand on his ass as if to lift him off his cock, but Sei just shakes his head. "Keep going. I don't mind."

It hardly takes Koujaku much longer to finish, after all, with how worked up he is.

Lying in his arms afterwards, though, damp skin on skin after they peeled off their sweaty clothes to lie there panting--that's new. New and more amazing than Sei could have imagined; it feels like something deep in his chest is opening up a little, relaxing where it had never relaxed before. He curls close against him, wraps arms and legs around him, can't even think of letting go. Rests his cheek on Koujaku's chest and basks with his eyes half-closed, not numb at all.

Something wet tickles his nose and drips into the hollow below Koujaku's collarbone.

"Sei," Koujaku blurts, suddenly tense with worry, swiping a finger under his eye. "Sei, are you all right? Ahh, I'm sorry..."

"Don't..." Sei blinks at him. The world's a little blurry, and he's not sure why. "Don't apologize. This is wonderful. I'm--happy. Probably."

 

* * *

  **II. I must confess it can feel good to feel pain**  

* * *

 

Noiz takes luring in, because Noiz has flown off to Germany for work, in a way where everybody keeps hoping that it's _just_ for work and not because he's working himself into some sullen fit about Aoba being gone. But Sei knows a thing or two about networks, to put it lightly, and a thing or two about Noiz, sort of, and really the only problem would be if Noiz was more stubborn than Koujaku about saving himself for Aoba while Aoba's off in America having fun with Ren and Mink.

But Sei doesn't know how to plan for that, so instead he plans for their meeting, and spends a few evenings _P-_ ing softly through a direct data link to Usagimodoki, numbers flickering behind his closed eyelids. There's no Rhyme in Germany, not normally, but Noiz still has his Allmate, and there's always Rhyme where Sei wants Rhyme to be. Cheating. He's never reached this far before, but it's just data, right? Just data. Just networks. Sei's mind thrums through fiber-optics strung cable-pipe thick along the bottom of the sea, under sharks and barnacles, and it's really quite an adventure.

So in the end, sometime of an evening in Germany, Usagimodoki hopes excitedly up onto Noiz's chest and chirps, "Rhyme! Rhyme! Someone wants to Rhyme with you!" Sei isn't exactly privy to the conversation--he could be, maybe, but he's busy setting things up in case Noiz accepts. He _hopes_ he accepts. He could blow the secret, he supposes, and he's sure Noiz would accept then, but surprises are run, right?

Noiz accepts.

There's no reason Sei can't set his Rhyme avatar to Usui, _especially_ for Noiz; all the parameters flow out of some drifting current of his soul like water. There's no reason he can't change the avatar either. Strip away the veil, he'd never liked that part; he considers putting away the announcer's mic, but thinks Noiz might have fun taking that off later. He paints stars upon stars around their eyes, turns the usual outfit into something darker and cuter, and of course--of _course_ \--sprouts velvet-soft bunny ears amongst Usui's silver-blue hair, a puffy cottontail to top off Usui's well-toned rear.

It's _Noiz_ , after all. He takes a moment to wonder whether he's cheating even worse than he did with Koujaku. Maybe, maybe not. But he can't resist seeing Noiz's reaction.

He's a little bit sad that Noiz brought his old avatar, lopsided green rabbit head and all, but he can, at least, hear one static-distorted gasp of quite interested surprise.

♥

"Thought it would have been someone from the old days, looking for Ruff Rabbit's head or whatever," Noiz says by way of explanation, flicking in annoyance at his stethoscope. It really is very creepy, Sei thinks, admiringly. Well. Doctors are very creepy. "So is the part of you that was Usui--part of you again?"

"Sort of." Sei flaps a hand. "It's complicated. I thought you might appreciate this though."

Noiz sneaks out a hand to poke one of the ears, retracts it just as quickly. "Well. Can you feel through all that?"

"Oh, yes. Some things map oddly, but they map. The arms aren't _just_ for show." Though admittedly, with Usui's moveset, they don't do much.

"So, you want to fight?" There isn't a hint of fear in Noiz's voice. Well, if he wants to be curbstomped in Rhyme for old time's sake, going toe to toe with Usui would do it--but Noiz feels real pain now, and Sei doesn't quite see the point. He just shrugs.

"If you really want? I came here for other kinds of playing though. Since you're in Germany and I can't wear bunny ears for you in person."

Noiz is very still and quiet for a long moment.

"Huh."

Sei bats his eyelashes, lets his ears wiggle. "Are you surprised?"

"Maybe." Noiz is still motionless, and Sei is starting to doubt. He's decisive, isn't he, normally? Then: "I'm Aoba's," Noiz says, quietly, and there's something tinny behind the mask.

"Haven't you played with others before?" Sei asks, tilting his head.

"This--" Noiz stops, starts again. " _Now_ is different. He's gone. I can't...I can't fuck things up now. Not anymore. I've done enough."

Sei sighs and settles four hands on his shoulders.

"Can I tell you something? About Brother?"

He doesn't answer, so Sei stares into black button eyes and says it anyway.

"We talked, before we left. I told him I was planning to seduce all of you. He sputtered a lot."

"Bet he did," Noiz mutters.

"Mm. When he was done with it, though, he said that in a funny sort of way, he was glad. That he felt so bad about not being able to give all of himself to each of you. That he didn't think it was _fair_. And that he never wanted any of you to be lonely, and that if I helped with that, even a little, he'd be so glad."

"You're not him."

"No."

Noiz is silent for a long moment, and then fumbles his hands up to yank off the rabbit head, tosses it aside, and there's something keen and painful in his eyes which isn't reaching the rest of his face. "I'm _his._ I don't want to hurt him--I don't want to lose him!"

Sei blinks, stares at him for a moment, heart twinging. Oh, dear. Brother needs to take a little better care of his boyfriends, he thinks; Sei's really not very good at this.

"Do you think he would keep trying so hard to love you and make you happy, even knowing he can't ever give you enough, if he didn't want to?"

Noiz grits his teeth a little, bows his head. "But he _left_."

"He was tired. He wore himself out, trying so hard."

"I don't want to hurt him!"

"You didn't. He hurt himself, I think?"

"Because of--"

"Isn't he wearing a ring you gave him?"

Noiz goes very silent, and drags one deep breath, and lets it out, and slumps against Sei's chest. At least Usui's comfortably padded there, Sei thinks, and pets him.

"I want to see if he's still wearing it," Noiz mutters, after a while, which is probably his way of saying he just needs reassurance, and Sei nods and lets him make the call, and plays with Usagimodoki while he's gone.

Noiz logs back in to find Sei laughing softly and spinning in a circle of twenty bouncing bunnies, hugging a few under his arms in turn. He'd been very good and not spied on his talk with Brother, despite considering it. Noiz looks like he's lost a little bit of composure, and the corners of his eyes shine a little in the cosmic glitter of Usui's Rhyme field, and he wades between tumbling rabbits without preamble, tugs the announcer's mic down to Sei's chin, and kisses him. Hungrily.

♥

Noiz barely breaks off the kiss as he fumbles at the catches of Usui's clothing, devouring, almost desperate, like whatever Brother had said flipped a switch in him. Sei twines against him, slides arms around him, moans softly into his mouth in answer--being _wanted_ like this is dizzying. He plucks at the stethoscope, the edges of Noiz's coat, and Noiz jut grunts and starts stripping down without even breaking rhythm.

Finally it's an awkward _P_ that shakes him out of it, and Noiz pulls back licking his lips, breath coming fast, and turns to give twenty-one bashful bunnies the finger. "You can pull out of the field, idiots. Sei's maintaining it."

"Mm." Sei's almost breathless, even here in Rhyme where he isn't bound by his body. He smoothes a hand down his side, feeling the swell of Usui's hip, and presses himself against Noiz like they're dancing, one pair of arms looped around his shoulders. "They probably needed your permission."

"Well, they've got it." There's a patter of fading P's as they disconnect, one by one, the boss bunny going last with a flourish. Noiz rakes his eyes up and down the length of Usui's body, and lifts a hand to lightly unhook the headset and toss it aside. "Well."

Sei can't help a faint, mischievous smile. "Did you ever dream of this, when you were chasing me?"

Noiz cracks a smile back. "Maybe. Mostly I dreamed of fighting you, I think. There were all these weird rumors that Usui was combat-capable, and I figured if she was, she'd be pretty tough."

"Oh." Sei lights up the orbs for just a moment with a slightly cruel smile, searing gold flaring into the great amplifying wheel behind Usui's back. "Yes, of course, you weren't there when Brother fought me. Usui's very strong."

"Damn," Noiz breathes, eyes widening just a touch. Sei lets the light fade, puts it all back. "Well, I don't need to get my ass kicked twice, Aoba made his point about Rhyme."

"Mm. That's good. I didn't want to fight." Sei reaches for him, hands dancing lightly down his arms and back, and Noiz lets out a shuddering breath, his eyes half-lidded.

"This is going to be interesting," Noiz murmurs, and Sei smiles and cups his cheek in one palm. "It's been a while since I was desperate enough to need to fuck in Rhyme, after all. It never did as much for me as I'd hoped."

"Oh." Sei tilts his head. "Will this, then?"

"It's--different now. I think. I'm not doing it just because I'm desperate."

"That's true."

"Also this is new," Noiz says a little flatly, tracing a thumb down the crook of Sei's thigh.

"You can still put it in," Sei murmurs helpfully, and walks three sets of fingertips down Noiz's spine, and another little breathy moan leaks out of him. Usui's fully functional, after all. Father'd always had that kind of humor. The sensation maps strangely, Sei knows, some subliminal awareness of how it tingles secondhand through the nerves of his corpse, his living body, flopped in bed back on Midorijima. Touches to the lips of her vagina cradle Sei's balls; on the clit, it's sizzling intense around the head of his cock, while his shaft feels almost nothing at all. Inside, he doesn't seem to feel it anywhere at all, or maybe everywhere, and it's the strangest way imaginable to be fucked, and yet somehow, for Sei, that makes it nicer.

"Yeah," Noiz breathes, as Sei gently unbuttons his shirt and bares his chest, made bold by all the extra hands. Hands to frame the wiry muscles of Noiz's arms, his spine, his nipples, and he closes his eyes for a moment and groans as Sei finds the last. "Yeah. Fuck. Let's go."

It takes even less to get this body ready than his real one, Sei knows. Usui's an Allmate, after all, and Allmates tend to be hair-trigger if they're functional--as Ren knew well. He finds himself grinding eagerly down on Noiz's exploring fingers, rolling together onto the hexagonal floor, drinking in Noiz's little breathless moans at the eight hands wandering over his skin, until he's sprawled on his back, hair and arms everywhere, laid open and wet for Noiz as he braces himself over him and slides, slowly, home.

"...fuck..."

"Does it...feel good?"

"Yeah." Noiz slips an arm around Sei's waist, holds him close. "Different--different texture. Wetter. I can feel you moving around me. Ahh..."

"...your piercings..."

Noiz grins. "Nice, huh?"

They really are. It's just so _satisfying_ , somehow, to be able to wrap his not-body around Noiz's cock like this, hold him, snug and full. Sei braces an extra hand or two against the glassy virtual floor, wriggles, slides more hands down Noiz's thighs. He doesn't get worn out, either, in Rhyme; he'd got as much stamina and athleticism as he could dream of, and he wraps legs and arms around him and rocks against him, and Noiz lets out a short sharp gasp and moves, fucking him short and hard, and Sei shakes under him and moans. No going numb here. Not even his body. All different, Noiz's hand exploring the swell of one breast, Noiz's cock stirring artificial nerves that he doesn't even have.

"Haah," Noiz breathes, hot against the crook of Sei's throat. "I should--come back to Midorijima sooner than I'd planned, maybe."

"Mm. Maybe." Sei gasps, holds him tighter. "You want to--feel this for real?"

"Yeah. Well. Wouldn't feel quite like this. But I want the real thing too. Get to feel your skin, play with your cock."

"Skin..." Sei moans as he figures out how to clench down just right, Noiz's piercings rubbing him deep inside. "That's...one of the best parts, I think, just...skin touching skin..."

"It's really something, isn't it?" Noiz's voice has gotten hoarse, a little ragged. He combs his fingers through the spun-silk length of Usui's hair, buries his face in it. "You--you're like me, aren't you? When Aoba first fixed me. Everything's new."

Sei laughs a little, softly, and that must have done something to Noiz inside him, because he gives one of those lip-biting little groans. "Maybe..."

"You want to wear bunny ears for me in person, huh? Let me keep you close on a leash, pet you all over, wrap you up in fur?" Noiz tightens his arms, rolls them as one, and it's Rhyme, gravity and inertia flow so easily around them, and Sei finds himself straddling Noiz, rocking, arms arrayed down his sides as Noiz reaches behind him to thoroughly grope Usui's ass, pet the cottontail perched there. "I could give you the kind of tail that comes on a plug for your ass. Watch you squirm around that as I tease your skin, make you feel, everywhere."

Sei has a _very_ good imagination. Fills in the gaps and shivers, skin tingling. "Yes...I could be your pet." Figures out how to roll Usui's hips just right, and gasps--the piercings really do make this nicer, he wants to feel them in his own body, deep inside. "Your--pretty pet." Would be better than being Virus' pet, wouldn't it? Just like it had been better to be Koujaku's princess. "What...what do you want to feel? My body? My mouth?"

"Everything," Noiz hisses, face going a little slack as Sei grinds down around him. "Everything..." He fumbles a hand up to Sei's hips, slips it between them for a moment, and huffs, frustrated. "That's supposed to be good for women, right? I'm at a bad angle. Do it for me."

Sei finds himself smiling, slides a hand down Usui's smooth thigh. "So you can watch...?"

"Yeah." A sharpness to the edge of Noiz's smile. "Yeah. Make it good for yourself. I want to see you come. Can you do it a lot?"

"Ahh...probably..." Sei braces himself with one hand on Noiz's chest, slides another down between them to play with his clit, and that sparks down his spine. He shudders above him, finds a rhythm, and the heat building in his belly isn't real, not quite, but it might as well be. "Tell me...? Tell me what you want to do to me. What you want me to do to you. Anything..."

Noiz tells him. Noiz groans and gropes Usui's thighs and spins perversion after perversion, face flushing a little as Sei writhes. Murmurs _yes, yeah, that's right, come for me_ , as Sei shakes apart, legs spasming and wet heat dripping between his fingers. Rolls them back over, Sei sprawled on his back, and keeps at it, and Sei idly wonders if his self-control comes only from the artificial distance of the Rhyme field, but he can't bring himself to care, really, not with how eagerly Noiz is fucking him. And his voice--it's almost more his flattened earnesty than his actual words, his genuine interest than his particular desires, and his voice is _real_ , and Sei clutches at Noiz's back with arm upon arm and comes, again and again, until even the illusory pleasure is nigh unbearable.

Noiz cracks and hits his limit and comes, eyes squeezed shut and crying out as he pumps into him, when Sei finds himself digging five or six sets of fingernails into his back, clawing down as he thrashes through his last orgasm.

"Ah..." Sei drags fingertips down the scratches he'd left, light and teasing, and Noiz all but _writhes_ , sudden and sensitive, panting into Usui's chest as he hangs over her, exhausted. "You still...like pain?"

"Oh, yes," Noiz murmurs, and slowly picks up his head, some wild light in his eyes. He's flushed, and his smile is bright and real, and for a moment, Sei almost forgets that they're in Rhyme. "Do you want to hurt me? For real, when I come back to Midorijima?"

Sei feels his eyes go wide, and something clench deep in his belly, and he shudders a little around Noiz's softening cock. Aftershocks. To do something like that--? He couldn't even have imagined. He would never have been _allowed_. He didn't want such things, did he?

But the look on Noiz's face...

It's Rhyme. A dream. Everyone wants strange things, don't they?

"Probably," Sei breathes, and frames Noiz's face tenderly in one pair of hands, and kisses him soft and sweet.

 

* * *

  **III. bury me above the clouds all the way from here**

* * *

 

Sei is still considering how to approach the matter with Clear when serendipity, instead, brings the chance to him on a gust of wind. A gust of wind that's Clear dropping off his roof, coat flapping.

"Sei-san! Are you well?"

"Mm." Sei smiles, small and thin, and opens his window to lean out and wave. Clear grins up at him, gathers himself, and leaps a story and a half back up to grab the windowsill, hands framing Sei's elbows, a scrabble of boots on the wall to crouch there like a spider. "Oho!" Sei makes mouths of surprise, and claps. "That must be so fun."

"I could take you with me, if you like? It's quite safe! I take Aoba-san flying quite a bit."

"Could you...?" Sei blinks wide-eyed--perfectly adorable surprise, he knows he's good at it. And wonders, deep down, but--there's no point in hesitating, is there? No point at all. Because of Brother and the others, he'd become a Sei who could step out of the tower and see the sky; next to that, plummeting into Clear's arms was nothing. "That sounds wonderful!"

He can tolerate rather remarkable g-forces, after all. They tested that when he was quite small.

"Let me come in, then, please?" Clear asks brightly, and Sei backs away from the window so he can leap in like Rapunzel's prince. He picks Sei up with great and gentle ease, gets him comfortable, shows him how to hold on so that he can feel secure. But even if he loses his grip, he can't fall, Clear says, and if he'd do it with his beloved Aoba-san, Sei has no need to be scared. Not that he _could_ even be scared of falling, or death.

They fly.

Sei leaves his arms draped loosely over Clear's shoulders like he's getting a perfectly normal piggyback ride, and learns quickly not to gape at the world spinning around them. The rush of wind makes it hard to breathe. He spits out a bug, coughs, and Clear makes some noise of concern, perches in the nearest open window like a spider with uncanny stillness until Sei finds his breath. The window's owner comes into the room just as Sei says he's okay to go, and they both wave cheerfully at the flabbergasted lady as Clear takes off with a great leap.

Sei finds himself grinning on the rising leaps and whooping against all reason as they fall, full-throated, like it was pulled out of him along with his breath. His body is tingling, excitement rushing through his blood

"How high can we go?" he somehow manages to ask over the rushing wind, and Clear laughs bright and clear and sings out into the sunny sky in answer.

"Let me show you!"

And he turns with a whirl around a telephone pole, and heads up, and up. The buildings don't get very high in the Old Resident District, but there are a few major communication and network towers. Sei's climbed them inside, countless times, sent his consciousness wandering far out of Platinum Jail, but never like this. Never gaping in wide-eyed wonder on Clear's back as the android hoists them up the girders like a laughing spider. There's a ladder here, even, up to the platform near the top set there for equipment maintenance, but Clear doesn't bother with it. Doesn't need to. Sei peers over his shoulder, down the dizzying length of the vertical strut to the ground, and feels--exultant.

By the time they tip out onto the bare, sun-heated maintenance platform near the top, Sei's laughing, warm-faced. This is new, this is all so new, and he's alive. Clear lets him catch his breath, points out landmarks in the District, places where people live, and Sei idly wonders how much time Clear had spent up here watch his friends go back and forth with his excellent eyesight. Not that he can talk.

Sei's heart is pounding and his blood is tingling, and Clear's arm is still around his waist, holding on to make absolutely sure he doesn't fall, and he moves almost without thinking--just because he wants to, just because his belly is warm and they're in the sky, he doesn't have a plan at all--and kisses him.

Clear makes a startled noise into his mouth, and answers, lips gentle, one or two curious flicks of his tongue. But he pulls back eventually, blinking, bright pink eyes darting from side to side as he searches Sei's face.

"Thank you, Sei-san. You're very kind, and I'll always be glad you've chosen to live with us like this. But..."

"But...?" Sei feels his eyebrows knit a little, and something sinks inside him. Clear smoothes a hand over his cheek, gloved, and Sei tries not to feel numb--it's cotton, soft worn cotton, he can feel the warmth and the texture of the weave, so real.

"Aoba-san is my first and dearest love. Always. I cannot let anyone replace him. I just--want to be sure you know that?"

"Of course I know that," Sei breathes. "I'm. Really not Brother. He's much better than me. And I'm so glad he has you."

Something crumples at the corners of Clear's eyes. "I'm sorry, Sei-san. I didn't mean to say you're worse than him. It's just--I love him?"

"I know." Sei smiles. "And it's just...he's been living, really living, for a lot longer than I have, and had a lot more time to grow. I could never have done for you what he did."

"I don't love him just for that," Clear says softly, and bites his lip for a moment, and then kisses Sei again, and Sei sighs a little in relief and lets his eyes flutter closed.

♥

Neither of them has any reason to move. Or care if they're seen. Sei finds himself making little gasps as Clear peels his clothing off, after very politely asking permission, and the high humid wind runs over his skin. It's not cold at all, not with the sun on them, but still, the hair on his arms is prickling, and Clear pulls off his gloves and runs warm almost-human fingers along his goosebumps as if he understands just how wondrous they are. Every time he looks down at the town below, Sei's heart pounds a little--it's not even the dizzying height of it, really, he'd looked down at the whole constrained circle of Platinum Jail from the towers heights so often. There had been glass, then. There had been no sky.

Now, everything is the sky. The waves breaking around the rocky shores framing the beach, Brother's beach, are so far away that they stand still, white foam, and Clear's mouth tastes sweet and empty like no human's could, and his touch stirs deep wild breaths, tremors through Sei's body, like he could suck in the whole sky and become as big as the world. Almost like he feels when his soul is splayed open across the network, but real, and in his flesh, and aching.

"I will not let you fall, Sei-san," Clear says, gentle and firm, and his arm around Sei's waist is like flesh-gloved iron, and Sei smiles and leans back in his grip, hair blowing into his face.

"I know." He's an inch over the edge, probably, two. Naked to the world. "I know."

"You are very beautiful, Sei-san." A soft yearning in Clear's musical voice. "I want to make you feel good--may I? May I touch you?"

"Of course..." Sei loses his breath for a moment in a gust of wind, loses it again as Clear bends his head to suck on his nipple. Those had never used to be sensitive. He really is changing. He really is living. Clear's strength is terrible, and wonderful, and Sei's helpless in his arms, utterly pliant after the rush of flying. Clear cheerfully asks permission, almost step by step, and Sei murmurs ever-more-breathless acceptance, and paws weakly at his flapping coat.

"Clear...can I ask...?"

"Ah, what is it, Sei-san?" Clear barely even lets up what he's doing, two fingers knuckle-deep in Sei, opening him up as he leans over empty space with his legs rucked wide, shuddering.

"Let me...feel your skin?"

"Oh, of course! I'm sorry. Hang on..."

Clear undresses almost in a blur, once he arranges to have a hand free, and Sei traces the patches on his skin from his repairs, and basks in his artificial warmth, and smiles into the high wind. A nice thing to see. He's glad he remembered to ask, managed to ask; asking is still foreign and wild and strange, just like the rest of this. Just like Clear's cheerful voice in his ear, babbling about how wonderfully Sei-san is opening up for him, how soft and warm he is inside. It would almost be unnerving--Virus had liked to narrate, after all--but Clear's earnesty, Clear's earnesty carries him through.

Clear's cock is _long_ , long enough that just settling onto it makes Sei moan with the sheer depth of sensation, tremble. He's splayed in Clear's arms, ungrounded--a foot touching the rough concrete of the rooftop, perhaps, a thigh, but mostly all he can feel is air and sunlight and Clear, and the weight of his own body impaling him on that overlong cock. But Clear's unnatural strength lets him hold Sei up like a doll, thrust into him, set his own pace--this is nothing like riding Koujaku, this is wild and helpless and free.

He's surrendered, Sei realizes, and the thought sends rubbery tremors down his legs. He's surrendered entirely, yet isn't numb at all, here up in Clear's sky, in Clear's arms, looking up into Clear's face, pink-cheeked and smiling. It's almost frightening, the haze he's fallen into--because it's new, because he's spent all this time trying to not be in hazes. Clear's the only thing between him and the death he'd once sought, and that--that isn't frightening at all, that's something giddy and glorious and maybe _why_ he's in such a haze, and--

"Oh, Sei-san...Sei-san, you look so happy..." Clear's kissing his cheek, his forehead, feather-soft and tender even as he pumps into him mercilessly, and that sends another nerveless tremor through him, such tenderness.

"What...what do I look like?" Sei manages, breathless.

That brings a bright adoring smile to Clear's lips, and maybe a strange glint to his eyes, but Sei can't possibly bring himself to mind right now. "Oh, I wish I could show you...you're a little pink, and you look like you're watching something that's very far away and very beautiful. You're panting and your hair's messed up and I can see you breathing in rhythm with me, and your leg is trembling every time I fuck you--" He thrusts particularly deep at that, forceful enough to drive a gasping moan out of Sei, and then again, utterly tireless, until Sei's almost thrashing, almost wailing. "You look like you're feeling with every inch of your body, Sei-san, you look like you're alive--so alive--"

Clear's _humming_ against him. Sei can feel it in his hindbrain, his whole system buzzing with excitement. He could probably--he could probably drift into him, at least a little. Wallow in the data streaming from eyes to skin to cock to brain. But he can't focus--he can't focus, even though he's drifting, he's drifting somewhere _else_ , not out of his body at all. Maybe further into it. The realization stuns him, and he cries out, and shakes beyond all reason, and clutches at Clear's shoulders.

"You must be so close, Sei-san," Clear's murmuring urgently in his ear, almost breathless himself, with an earnest smile. "Your cock's very red, I can see it twitching as I fuck you, I can see your precum--ah, it looks so sweet. I wonder if you could come like this, Sei-san? Without me even touching you..."

He can, as it turns out. At Clear's sweet word in his ear, Clear's guileless chant of _come for me_. Clear's almost as wrenchingly comforting to cuddle afterwards as a real living human, though the warmth Sei feels from his skin is different, and he _feels_ it differently, with his mind rather than his gut, and he wonders dimly how deep inside Clear he _could_ pour his awareness, but doesn't pursue it. He's supposed to be in his body these days. And he's never liked controlling people.

Clear sings to him after, soft and gentle in the wind, and Sei closes his eyes and basks in the sound and is almost, almost frightened of how utterly Clear has undone him.

 

* * *

  **IV. give me a chance to turn the key and find my voice**

* * *

 

Mink has to wait until he and Brother and Ren get back from America, which is a little...frustrating, Sei is pretty sure what he's feeling is frustration. Only very mild though. He would have seduced Mink earlier, if he had the chance; like Clear, Mink knows about choices, and coming back to life, and all sorts of interesting things, only Sei thinks Mink might understand him better than Clear does. But he's very good at waiting, even if he doesn't like it.

Mink has found an abandoned house up in the woods to live in, because apparently Brother talked him into starting a farm or something, and Sei entertains sneaking up and surprising him, but there's a big hill, and he eyes it balefully until he sees Mink coming down one morning, shopping bag in hand. Asking to visit is easy enough. Getting carried most of the way up the hill is actually slightly harder; Mink's being mean, like Brother, and making him walk as far as he can. But he gets there. Sei buries his face in Mink's soft free hair, slightly sweaty in the humid Midorijima morning, and fights to breathe, and lets his feet dangle as the world sways gently.

Mink puts things away, and Sei curls in a tatty armchair with a faint smile to pet Huracan--the Allmate flaps over to settle in his lap right away, and they chatter aimlessly--and eventually, when Mink's done puttering around, he says why he's here.

"...to seduce me," Mink echoes, with a blink. Huracan laughs once, butts his beak under Sei's hand for more pets, and observes, looking well entertained.

"Mm. I had whole cunning plans with Koujaku and Noiz, but I'm not sure how to seduce you, so I'm just going to tell you. I could. Put stuff in my hair, I guess?"

"Usually that's my job," Mink says, with just an edge of something in his voice. Amusement, probably.

"Okay," says Sei, and flops over the side of the armchair so his hair's dangling.

Mink pulls over a little stool and sits beside him, studying him, and Sei's having a hard time reading his gaze, so he just snakes a hand out to poke him. Mink, eventually, settles a hand in his hair--not to put anything in it, just running his fingers through it, and he must be used to playing with Brother's hair, his touch is so feather-light that Sei probably couldn't feel it even if he wasn't used to people messing with it.

"Why?" Mink asks, in the end. It's a lot of build-up for a little question. Sei opens his mouth, closes it, chews his lip. Maybe it's not a little question.

"Because you're interesting...? I don't know." Sei pouts, feels his brow furrow, leans into Mink's hand. "Because I want to...?" Mink makes a sort of acknowledging grunt, and Huracan slowly gets his feet under him, stretches his wings. "I think...I think I sort of expected you all would want me, and take me, and then you didn't. Probably because Brother has good boyfriends, though it took me a while to figure out that part."

"I'm not his boyfriend."

Sei makes a thoughtful noise. "No, I'm pretty sure you count too. I have his permission and everything. Anyway. None of you did. And then I realized...it wouldn't be bad if you did? And then I started to want things, a little, maybe." Huracan takes off, opens a window to let himself outside, like he's giving them privacy; and it's that which lets Sei know he's won. "It's very confusing."

"It can be, yes."

"You're not used to wanting things either, right?"

"No," Mink says, and then Sei flops a little too far out of the armchair, and Mink catches him with easy, easy strength. Sei rolls, puddles into his lap, and loops arms around him, and feels the warmth of him and his heart going a little fast. His _face_ is warm, and Sei runs fingertips over it.

"Are you used to-- _being_ wanted?"

"No," Mink breathes, like somebody who's just realized the situation is a little more out of hand than he thought it was, and then Sei kisses him, and Mink's hand clutches the small of his back, just a little.

♥

Mink's very focused on what Sei wants, and it's almost alarming, but also-- _something_. Sei's giddy, like it's going to his head, like the one time he had too much at Mizuki's place. He feels _alive_ , and it's dangerous and scary and headlong, not numb at all, and Mink's heart pounds in his chest under Sei's hands, and when they're both naked and Sei can breathlessly smoothe his hand down the dark length of Mink's cock, Mink asks him, again, what he wants.

"I...what do I..." Sei drags a deep breath, and buries his other hand in Mink's hair, and presses close. "Can I ask anything?"

"Why not?" Mink rumbles, gentle, amused. "It's just asking. I can always say no."

"Mm. Right. I...can I be inside you?" It's a bare whisper, Sei can't manage the air for more, he's so keyed up. Mink rubs between his shoulderblades, seems entirely unsurprised.

"You want that?"

"...yes. I think...yes." God help him if Mink asked _why_ right now, he just did. Because he could, maybe. Because it was new. He'd never really gotten to do much with his cock, yet he wasn't even sure that was the point anyway--he just. Wanted to. See that.

"All right."

That easy. Really that easy. Sei's almost surprised. But then again, how much would he know? Mink's changed a lot since he had a chance to watch him much. If he hadn't, Sei might have needed to have a problem with him. But he's done better with Brother now--for all Sei knows, Brother had already asked for this, and _that_ makes his belly flip-flop and his cock twitch to think of.

Mink winds up sprawled face-down in the bed as Sei prepares him with something that Mink brought himself from America, which smells like flowers and is really quite wonderful--Sei wants some, he realizes, for every time this happens either way, it's so much nicer than the plain jelly stuff that makes him think of electrodes and probes. Sei curls against his broad back, and they kiss at awkward angles, and Mink mutters reassurances whenever Sei wonders what to do, and he opens up slow, but he opens, breathing deep, relaxing. The arm Sei's bracing himself on shakes, and Mink eyes that, between ragged breaths that are almost moans as Sei's hand moves, and Sei chews on his lip a little and wonders if he _can_ really manage fucking him like this.

"I...Mink...ride me? When you're ready?"

That--that works better. Sei gets comfortable, moans soft and sweet as Mink slicks up his cock for him, runs his hands over Mink's chest as he slowly, slowly settles down, tight and hot around him, long deep breaths, face just a little flushed and one faint groan as Sei sinks into him to the hilt. Even like this, he moves with utter control, contained and gentle, barely makes a noise. Even like this, he's _big_ \--his weight across Sei's hips isn't too much, he's braced on his knees, thighs flexing as he lowers himself, and that's really quite a sight--but he's big, and terribly strong, and on top of him, and for a moment Sei feels his legs go numb, and grabs for Mink's long hair, dark and wavy, not the least bit like Trip's--

"Sei."

Sei fumbles. He's free, he can do what he likes, he's--

Mink's giving him power, he realizes, sudden and clear. Probably very, very deliberately, from what he knows of him.

"Hold onto the headboard?" he manages, weakly, and Mink does. Sei's framed by those thick arms, Mink's hair hanging down, but only framed, and that's enough, just enough, to breathe. Feel the heat of him around his cock again, smell him.

"Sei," Mink says again, motionless, and all of Sei's numbness turns inside out into this strange giddy rush, and he reaches up to cup his cheek and kiss him. Mink kisses back, both hands still on the headboard--he can't touch him, and Sei thinks it's probably wrong and strange to like that, but. But.

"I'm all right now," Sei manages, when he breaks for air. "You--you should enjoy yourself..."

"What makes you think I'm not?" Mink murmurs. Their faces are close. Sei feels his breath, warm; Sei plays with his hair as Mink can do nothing but hold on and move. But he _does_ move, at Sei's invitation, slow, experimental, like he's never done this before either. Long rolls of his hips, eventually, of his whole body, and Sei looks down and _watches_. Mink's body is his voice, he thinks. His voice is nothing but small ragged noises in the back of his throat, but his body speaks volumes, in the rise and fall of his chest, the big muscles in his thighs clenching as he rises and drives himself back down on Sei's cock. Sei's hands wander almost of their own accord, and he pants, moans a little as Mink shudders and clenches down around him. Sei _watches_ , drinks in the sight of him, and if Mink notices, if it bothers him, it's hidden in the fall of his hair and his half-lidded eyes. But it's too much, he's drunk on it, he wants to see more...

"I like this," he whispers, and tucks Mink's hair back, and traces the lines of his muscles with his fingertips.

"I wouldn't have guessed." Mink moves a hand to Sei's face, carding through his hair in return, cupping his cheek, and Sei sucks a breath, hesitating, and for a moment, they're both still.

"Head...board?" Sei says, very quietly, and lets it be a question. How much Mink will keep indulging him. How much power he'll hand him. Just asking makes his heart pound in his throat--he was never supposed to--

Mink closes his eyes for a moment, and takes a few steady breaths, and puts his hand back, and Sei feels such a strange tingling rush, so intense, that he almost takes it back. Instead, he slips a finger under Mink's chin, after a breathless floundering moment, and nudges him into a kiss, and Mink returns that just like always, so it's probably all right. Leans back just out of reach when he's done, traces his thumb over Mink's lips, down the lines of his throat, and gets another one of those subliminal shudders. He can touch him however he likes, Sei realizes, he can reach pretty much all of him like this, and Mink's letting him, laying himself open for Sei to giddily explore. He coaxes him into moving again, can't take his eyes off him. Mink's silent, and shivers, and twitches as his fingers slide down his side.

"Is this--bad?"

"Too light," Mink answers, after a moment, and Sei feels himself smile.

"Ticklish?"

"You tickle me, this stops," Mink says, not entirely kindly, but he doesn't move, so nothing's stopping.

"Hehe...okay." Sei drags his palm down Mink's back, feels his body shift under his touch. "Mm. That feels better."

It _is_ better. His nails, he finds; Mink likes that, nails down his back, makes a low, low noise in the back of his throat. His nipples aren't sensitive unless Sei pinches as hard as he can, and then he almost bucks, almost moans, closes his eyes until Sei nudges his face up to kiss him again, feel those little noises in his own mouth, feel him shudder over him, around him. Time stops mattering, but not the way it usually does; he's in his body, his whole skin's warm, he's alive and Mink is alive and it's _good_.

"Open your mouth," Sei whispers, when he finally breaks off the kiss because he can't stand not watching him, and Mink does, lets him slide his fingers in, gets his hand thoroughly wet. Then Sei reaches for his cock, hand slick around him, and when he rolls his palm around the head and twists his nipple with his other hand, he earns a moan. Real, genuine, full-throated; Mink's flushed, subtle and dark, whole body shuddering in one long breath, and Sei all but moans with him, like they're linked. He's so hard it _hurts_ , inside him, and Mink's clenching down around him with every shudder as he starts to come apart a little, brow furrowed, head hanging low. Sei bites his lip, fights not to come, and jerks him off slow, _slow_ , until Mink's groaning and almost bucking into his hand. Tugs on his nipples in rhythm with the half-contained spasms of Mink's hips. Almost pouts--he could watch this for hours, wonders if he could really take Mink apart if he could drag it out, make him writhe, make him lose all control--but it'll only last as long as he does, and that couldn't possibly be much longer.

Later, he thinks--and just that there _is_ a later is amazing, really, it is, after everything--later. If Mink wants this again. Oh, those hard-earned noises are sweet. Sei speeds up his hand, strains up into him, struggles for air. "I'm--at my limit--let me see you, please, Mink, let me see you come like this..."

" _Fuck_ ," Mink breathes, in English, squeezes his eyes shut and bows his head with a shudder, headboard creaking under his hands.

Sei cups his cheek with his free hand, and Mink's eyes fly open, and for a moment they just shake together, and Mink doesn't look away. His orgasm seems to take him from the toes on up, thighs trembling around Sei's hips, voice breaking open on a low hoarse cry as the last of his restraint crumbles. Sei watches, entranced, gulping air, wishing it could last forever.

Mink is also good for curling up on, when they're done, and Sei's exhausted, trembling after how hard he came himself--and he'd barely even done anything. But he can't sleep. Rests his cheek on the firm muscles of Mink's chest and basks in the warmth of him and can't stop thinking about what he'd just seen. What he'd just realized he wanted more of.

"Apparently I've created a monster," Mink sighs, at some point during Sei's ramblings. "Get some rest."

 

* * *

**V. I'm standing in the shadows with the words stuck in my throat**

* * *

 

Sei finds an excuse to ask Ren to take him on a walk--not that it even takes an excuse, really, Ren's all settled into his new, fabulously strong body, and is always eager to help. Though unfortunately he's almost as strict as Mink about making him walk at least a little.

Sei doesn't really have a concrete plan beyond that. It's...strange with Ren. Maybe the strangest of all of them. For so long, Ren has existed only for Brother--and Sei loves that, so much. Could just lie down on his side and bask in the warmth that brings to his heart, knowing that Brother has Ren and Ren has Brother. Would have given Ren his body just for that, to be one with what they have. Leaning on Ren's shoulder now, holding his arm to support himself--he can't tell if he's an interloper or if he's finally come home.

And his mind is wandering, as they sit on a bench for Sei to rest, busy feeling everything he feels about Ren and Brother, when Ren quietly clears his throat.

"Ah, Sei. May I ask: do you have designs on me as well?"

Sei startles, lets out a kitten squeak, and blinks up at him innocently. "...mmmmaybe?"

"You seem hesitant," Ren observes, neutral. "I had not...ah. Gotten the impression that you were, when it comes to this."

"Well. You used to be part of Brother." Sei flutters his eyelashes, leans back against Ren's shoulder. God, he can't help himself, this is so much fun. Playing like this, knowing he's _safe_. "And you're even more devoted to him than the others, in your way...I'd understand if you refused."

Ren considers that quite seriously, brow slightly furrowed. "You have always seemed...particularly invested in my relationship with Aoba."

"Mm. It always seemed so...perfect?" Sei flutters his fingertips vaguely. "I divided myself, so many times. But I was scattered, I was always trying to escape myself. I was never able to relate to myself, the way you and Brother do. Support myself. Love myself. It seems like the most wonderful thing in the world."

"I am no longer Aoba," Ren hedges, after a moment.

"I know. But what you feel for him..."

"True. I was his Restraint, then his Allmate. I do not know what I would feel for him, if I had not been those things, but I also do not know who or what _I_ would be." He frowns, slightly. "I do not think I would. Be."

"Sometimes imagining other lives gets very hard," Sei breathes.

Ren's hand goes to his shoulder.

"Have you ever...wanted anyone who wasn't Brother?"

"I--" Ren pauses. Sei watches, considers prompting, but well, _everyone_ remembers that one night playing spin-the-bottle at Mizuki's place and how hard it was to peel Ren off of _anyone_ the bottle pointed him towards. "I do not know. Ah, I'm sorry. I don't mean to sound facetious. I do--become aroused readily." He pinks, slightly. Sei leans closer. "But to actively desire, to long after...that is different that simply responding to someone's touch, and I am not even sure I would recognize it if it was not for Aoba. So I do not know."

"Can I touch you?" Sei whispers.

Ren looks down at him, breathing shallowly, gold eyes a little narrow. "I am not sure how best to answer. But if you do, it should not be--here."

Sei smiles, faint and mischievous. "Did you and Brother get caught?"

"Almost." Ren turns _quite_ pink. "It was quite alarming, in retrospect."

"Couldn't think straight at the time?" Ren flushes deeper still; Sei laughs. "Well, that's okay. I can take care of you and make sure we won't get caught. And that means you can take the walk home to figure out whether you want it, mm?"

"Ah--quite true." Ren's eyes widen a little, as if he's considering so sudden a deadline. He draws a deep breath, lets it go. "Shall we head back, then?"

"Mm. Yes." Sei smiles fondly, and reaches out his arms, imploring. Ren takes pity and piles him onto his back, and if his touch is a little more gentle, contemplatively so, Sei pretends not to notice.

It isn't until they're back home that either of them realizes that they'd forgotten to do the shopping.

♥

Ren carries Sei all the way to the bedroom, and deposits him quite gently on the edge of the bed, and says, simply, after taking one uncertain breath, "yes."

"Oh! Really?" Sei reaches up a hand, trails fingertips down the muscles in Ren's arm.

"Yes. I know Aoba's feelings on the matter. There is no one who would be harmed. And I am...curious. How I would respond, to somebody who is not Aoba." He pauses, and carefully settles next to Sei. "And I think...I'm glad that it is you, who has asked me this."

Sei feels something in his chest flutter, and grabs for him. Just grabs, loops his arms around him and doesn't let go. "You...you are?"

"You have always...seen me as myself." Ren's low voice is softer than usual, in Sei's ear, and Sei nuzzles the warm side of his throat and breathes deep. "Even when I was a little lost...ah." Ren sucks air, softly, as Sei kisses the hollow of his throat.

"You were part of Brother, and now you are not," Sei whispers, by way of explanation, and tentatively slides a hand up to play with Ren's hair, trimmed shorter and scruffier and dyed black by Koujaku when he first got this body. "That part...doesn't bother you either?"

Ren's hand tightens on his shoulder, just a little. "...no. I thought it might, given what my role once was, but--no."

Sei feels something like excitement burning in his throat, and swallows, and kisses him. For a moment, the world falls away, and his heart's pounding a little like it hadn't with anybody else--Ren, Ren's strength, Ren's warmth around him. Ren's fangs grazing his lips as the kiss deepens. Ren groaning into his mouth, low and raw, and pulling him closer, and Sei gathers himself and clambers into his lap, straddling him.

He loses track of time. Really, honestly, so lost in his body that he's feeling nothing else, just from kissing Ren, and when they finally break off, both panting a little, Ren's flushed and lit up with lust, his pupils blown wide. Sei drags a deep breath and cups Ren's cheek adoringly and murmurs, "Ren, I love you."

"Sei," Ren breathes, brow furrowing.

"I love you because you love Brother and watch over him," Sei continues, breathlessly. "I would have given you everything I was, just for that. Maybe that makes me a little strange, I don't know, but, well, I've probably always been a little strange. I adore you and care about you and want you to be happy." He forces another breath, and forces the words out, and forces himself to not look down and apologize, and with all that, it comes out in a rush. "I'm also pretty sure I want to tie you to the bed and fuck you senseless?"

Ren gulps, and flushes sudden and violent red, and pretty much, unwittingly, whimpers.

Sei waits breathless, swallowing down hard against some rush of _something_ in his belly that he doesn't even understand. He can feel Ren's cock against him through his pants, already half-hard from before, and thinks it might be twitching, he can't quite tell, but that's good, right?

"This body," Ren manages after a moment, "isn't easy to restrain." He swallows too, squeezes his eyes shut for a moment. "Though, if I remember where Aoba left them, there might be something that could work?"

Sei blinks. "Where Brother left...?"

"His Desire, ah." Sei isn't quite sure how Ren manages to flush harder. "Had similar intent, and consulted with Clear."

Sei feels his face heat, and realizes that the leggings he's wearing today are far too tight. " _Oh_..." He usually barely even notices it when he gets hard, but now--it's like Ren's own wild desire is stirring something in him. Either that or he's finally getting a little more comfortable in his skin. He doesn't stop to figure out which is which, just kisses Ren sweetly on the cheek and whispers, "Let's find them?"

"Yes," Ren chokes, and all but dives into the dresser.

♥

They aren't in the dresser, and Sei--sprawled on the bed a little dizzy with anticipation--has the presence of mind to ask Ren to strip before he crawls under the bed to dig further. Ren falters, breath catching, clearly out of his depth--but he's eager, and peels off his clothes in a nervous blur. His body is different than his old Rhyme form: narrower in the shoulders, a little less defined, the flat wiry planes of the Alpha body Sei had transferred him into. Clear's twin now, with an equally long cock standing hard and red against his belly. Ren pauses, awkward, stark naked except for his necklace, and shifts from one foot to another, once, as Sei looks him over, smiling softly.

"Thank you," he murmurs, sweet and earnest, and Ren ducks his head in acknowledgement, drops to his knees to look under the bed. Giving Sei a very nice view of his ass sticking out. It's down there that he finds them, eventually, with a satisfied announcement that comes from somewhere _under_ Sei and makes him laugh in surprise. And then he withdraws, offering a pair of heavy cuffs with equally heavy clips attached. They look almost like what Mink used to wear, the old experimental shackles--not that they'd ever needed to restrain Sei in those things, he was always so pliant and well-behaved. He reaches out a hand to brush over them regardless, hesitant.

"Sei..."

"Are you sure?"

"It is all right. As I said, I, ah." He drops his gaze, pink with embarrassment, arousal. "I've worn these before."

"And they hold you?"

"Yes. Well..." Ren frowns slowly, considering--and it takes him a while, like he's struggling to focus through his haze of arousal, and that's very fun to watch. "I might be able to break the bedframe, even if I can't break these..."

"That would be a mess," Sei says quietly, with a little frown. "I'd have to stop, if you did."

Ren, Sei's quite certain, bites back a whimper at that, and nods. "I'll--do my best."

"Good," Sei breathes, and reaches out to take them, heart pounding. They're _heavy_ , he soon discovers, and the latches are stubborn; it takes both of them to get them around Ren's wrists. Sei pauses, once they're on, looking down at his own small hands over the electronic locks, over Ren's wrists that he's willingly offered up to him.

"Aoba's Desire--didn't lock them, just made sure I couldn't reach the latches. He said he didn't know where the key was."

"Mm." Sei hesitates, leans up to kiss Ren briefly, and then it becomes more than briefly, until Ren's arms are around him, shackles and all, hardly able to keep his hands off him, and Sei's running hands through his hair and kissing him back almost as hungrily. "May I," he breathes, ragged, when they're done and most of Sei's clothes are gone, yanked off, shoved aside. "May I--lock them? I can always undo them."

Ren goes quite still for a moment, wide gold eyes staring into his, and then nods slowly.

Sei blinks, and spreads out his mind just a little, and the locks click. Puts his mind back, and nudges Ren's shoulder very gently, and lays him down on the bed, feeling his artificial heart pounding in his chest as he goes. Drapes over him, running hands down his sides, _feeling_ him, and Ren nips softly at his ear and, perhaps unwittingly, grinds up against his thigh. This is happening, this is happening, it's such an unthinkable, feverish daydream that Sei can't even stop to think about it. Can't stop at all. "Roll over?" he whispers in Ren's ear, and Ren shudders, full-body, slowly peels himself off of Sei enough to do so. As if fighting through his lust enough to obey, however much he wanted to, was a great struggle. "Thank you," Sei breathes, and nuzzles the nape of his neck, and Ren groans and humps the mattress in one long roll of his body. "Thank you, thank you..." Sei can't stop saying it, even as he guides Ren's wrists to the corners of the bed, spreading his sleekly muscled arms, and figures out how to loop the attachment rings securely, and spreads out his mind again.

A click.

Ren drags a deep ragged breath, and strains, just a little, muscles in his back rippling. Not his full strength, Sei's quite sure, but they'll hold for that much, and that's really all they can ask.

"Sei, please," Ren breathes.

"Are you all right?" Sei runs his hands over him, wondering, presses himself against Ren's bare back.

"Yes--yes, just--please--sorry, I just--don't stop touching me?"

"I _can't_ ," Sei whispers, and Ren shudders nervelessly and presses his ass up against him. Sei's awash with feelings, like his whole body's thrumming, confused and excited--but that much he knows, he can't keep his hands off Ren, and he wants him. Wants him so badly, wants to be inside him. He paws around on the dresser without looking, he was sure he saw lube there somewhere--yes, there it is. Oh, but he wants to see him, too. He keeps his body pressed against him as he fumbles some lube onto his fingertips, and then rolls off to the side. Just a little. Never breaking contact. Smoothes his other hand down his thigh, pressing, guiding--he can't quite bring himself to ask, but Ren answers eagerly anyway, spreading his legs, scooting his knees up a little so his ass is in the air, whole body straining with need.

"Oh, Ren, you're beautiful," Sei murmurs, beside himself, and dips a finger down, and into Ren. He has to move a little further down his body, he finds, to be able to really get in there, but Ren squirms into his touch eagerly, muscles rippling as he tries to drive his hips onto Sei's hand and into the mattress all at once.

Rather suddenly, Sei realizes something, and smiles softly, and just holds his hand still. Flops to one side to nuzzle Ren's shoulder and whispers, "you can move, if you like. Fuck yourself."

"Ahh... _Sei_..." Ren makes a shaky noise deep in his throat and backs on his hand. "Sei...please..."

"Do you want more?" Sei manages, entranced.

"Yes--ahh!" Sei gives him another finger, braces his arm a little as Ren grinds down eagerly, and smiles, reaching out with his other hand to pet his hair, gently. So gently. Ren whimpers, and strains to turn his head, nipping softly at his fingertips, tongue darting out, face aglow with desire. Sei feels his breath coming short, and teases him, slowly, circling his lips as he moans, before shoving his fingers deep into his mouth, heedless of the fangs. Ren groans, rocks between Sei's hands, wanton and gorgeous, and Sei wants him so much he almost can't think. He's collaborated with Aoba and Mizuki to figure out how to stain his new android skin, and the scrolled tattoos of his Rhyme form are back, rippling over the muscles in his shoulders as he writhes under Sei. Wings, wings to fly with. Three fingers in his ass, now, as he makes strangled noises that might have been begging around the fingers in his mouth, and Sei could watch this forever--

The bedframe creaks _alarmingly_ , almost crackling, and Sei pulls his hand out of Ren's mouth to fold it over the back of his neck. "Sshhh..."

Ren whimpers, bows his head. "Sorry--sorry--"

"Sshh, it's okay, just don't break it..."

"Sei-- _please_ , Sei, I'm ready, I want you, please--"

"Ah..." Sei smoothes a hand down his spine, and realizes what he wants. "Ren...roll over? I want to see you..."

He blinks. The locks attaching Ren to the bed click open, and Ren all but growls, wordless, and shakes the attachment loops off in one smooth motion, and rolls over. Before Sei knows it, Ren's hands are on his thighs, dragging him towards him.

"Sei--Sei, I'm sorry, I--"

"Never mind," Sei breathes, and fumbles his cock into place, and from there it's all Ren, strong hand on his ass to steady him as he pulls him deep with a raw, open-mouthed groan. Sei overbalances, catches himself on Ren's chest, and Ren pants, rucks his legs up to keep him inside, and writhes down onto him, hands on Sei's hips to guide him, move him, as he fucks himself with desperate urgency. Sei's almost glad he's free, it works better this way--he's rubber-limbed with his own desire, not used to fucking anybody like this. Later, later he can figure out how to fuck somebody thoroughly when they're tied down, now--now they're not going to last, there's no way either of them will last, and no space to care. Sei lets Ren drive his hips, braces his shoulder on Ren's chest, and reaches down between them with his hand slick from Ren's mouth to grab his cock, roll his palm over the head, and Ren all but shouts as Sei starts jerking him off in earnest. It's frantic, and breathless, and Ren comes with a growl and a long violent full-body spasm, and then his eyes roll back in his head a little as Sei gathers enough strength to move, needy, drive himself deep into him a few times as Ren whimpers in postorgasmic sensitivity until he comes.

Ren catches him as he sags. Catches him and holds him close, hand splayed between his shoulderblades, cheek to cheek, like he couldn't bear to let him go, and Sei's heart is beating faster than he'd ever thought it could, and there's a warmth he can't even name.

Neither of them manage words for what feels like together. Their skin is touching, and they're breathing together, pressed as close as they possibly could, and Sei slides slowly out of Ren as he softens, and that is all he could ever want.

"Sei," Ren murmurs softly, eventually, gently brushing his hair out of his face. Sei blinks, stirs up a smile, presses his cheek against Ren's.

"Curiosity satisfied...?"

Ren laughs, once, soft. "To put it lightly. I--yes. I am glad for this."

"Me too. Thank you. So much." Sei can't stop smiling, he realizes. It's like it's stuck there, like he can't put it away. It's strange, it hurts a little.

Ren touches his cheek. Concern in his face.

"It's okay," Sei breathes. "This is wonderful. I'm happy."

 

* * *

**PS: now I'm lucky like a falling star that fell over me**

* * *

 

This is _fun_ , Sei thinks, giddy with newfound power. Oh, he'll have to go back to Koujaku, now that he's starting to figure out more of what he likes--so pretty to imagine, Koujaku splayed out and panting, maybe bound in red silk, Sei wants to find one of those feathery little tassels and tease him with it until he writhes. Begs. He wants to leave lipstick stains on his cock and pull back just to tease before slipping fingers inside him. Blindfold him, maybe--no, no that would have to be Noiz, when he gets back to Midorijima. Simply have to be. Maybe gag him too, make it so he can't do anything but _feel_ , touch him and hurt him with everything in the room and see what his nerves make of it all. Or take him into Rhyme again and watch him shudder and moan under the weight of Usui's power. And Clear...

"Clear?" Sei asks sweetly, the next time he goes to visit him.

"Ah, hello, Sei-san! Are you well?" Clear sets the stove on low and wipes off his hand with a blur of motion, trots out to meet him.

"Yes!" Sei puts a smile on his face, and it doesn't even take that much effort. "Things have been very nice." He leans up against Clear like a cat asking for pets, and Clear provides with absolutely no reservation. "I have a plan, if you'd like to join me."

"Oh?"

"I discovered when I went to seduce Mink and Ren that I like being in charge."

"Oh!" Clear flushes in wide-eyed surprise as he imagines that, smiles. "With Mink-san and Ren-san, wow! Yes, it's very fun. Do you want to try with me?"

"Mm, maybe someday. But I have a different idea. It's a surprise."

"A surprise!" Clear claps his hands.

Sei smiles mysteriously, and leans up to whisper in Clear's ear. "So..."

"So..." Clear whispers back.

"I think we should team up on people..."


End file.
